Divorce? Yes, it’s Possible: Learn About Mubarat

At first glance, you may think the words “amicable” and “divorce” don’t belong in the same sentence. By its very nature, a divorce means that two people no longer want to be together and have decided to go their separate ways. If everything was fine between them, this would not be the case.

 

However, moving through the legal process of dissolving a marriage should always be approached in a pragmatic and conciliatory fashion. Knowing how to divorce amicably will save you time, money and more heartache.

 

It is easier said than done. Any family breakdown will be a time of emotional upheaval. Tensions and emotions will be running in the red — but you need to do everything you can to move forward, sort what needs to be sorted, and move on to the next phase of your life. In this blog, we cover key questions about amicable divorce.

 

What is an amicable divorce?

 

Different people may have different ideas about what it means to have an amicable divorce, but generally we are talking about one that avoids unnecessary conflict and contentious court proceedings.

 

Divorcing amicably will generally involve the separating couple working together to agree how issues such as the division of finances and arrangements for children will be dealt with. It may use methods such as private negotiation and mediation to agree these issues, rather than relying on a court to make these decisions.

 

Is it possible to have an amicable divorce?

 

Yes, it is perfectly possible to have an amicable divorce and, in Muslim Personal Law, couples are resorting to what is called a Mubarat.

 

The literal meaning of the word ‘Mubarat’ is obtaining release from each other. It is said to take place when the husband and wife, with mutual consent and desire, obtain release and freedom from their married state.

 

In ‘Mubarat’, the feature is that both the parties desire divorce. The offer for separation in ‘Mubarat’ may proceed either from the wife or from the husband. (Read more here)

 

Essentials of Mubarat:

 

The husband or the wife, either of them can make the offer:

 

1. The other spouse must accept the divorce proposal.
2. Once it is accepted by the other partner, it becomes irremediable.
3. Iddat period is mandatory before the divorce is approved.
4. No consideration should be given to either of the spouses. Also, the period of iddat has to be observed by the wife before getting separated.

 

6 Steps that can come in handy to personally navigate the journey towards an amicable divorce

 

There are some tips we have picked up over the years that can help you if you are struggling with how to divorce amicably. Of course, it takes two, and it may even be useful to share the points we have posted below with your soon-to-be ex. What’s the worst that could happen?

 

Step 1: Don’t try to get revenge

 

Trying to get one over on your spouse, or “take them for all they are worth”, is not a useful approach. It is ultimately unlikely to get you the result you want, will cause more bad feeling and lengthen the time and cost to sort your divorce. Let bygones be bygones. Get on and sort it!

 

Step 2: Keep talking

 

You do need to speak to your other half to get things sorted out. Refusing to talk to them does not help this. It will lead to higher costs if all communication has to go through solicitors. If there are any children involved you will still need to co-parent, so make sure you have up-to-date contact details and keep the communication channels open.

 

Step 3: Leave the children out of it

 

Never use children as pawns or to score points. It is not fair on them. You could risk alienating the child, sooner or later. It is not worth it. They deserve an ongoing relationship with both parents. Don’t try to turn them against the other parent.

 

Step 4: Be understanding

 

There are lot of different emotional stages a person will go through in a divorce, including anger, denial and shock. Your ex-spouse may be at a different stage from you, particularly if you are the one who instigated proceedings. Accept this and be sympathetic to their position. Listen to their concerns and suggest ways to move things forward where appropriate.

 

Step 5: Phone a friend

 

Don’t be afraid to ask friends, family, doctors, etc. for support. Even if they are mutual friends, they will not want to take sides but should support you both if they are true friends. They can be a pressure valve for you. Alternatively, you can call on the help of a divorce coach.

 

Step 6: Rise above it

 

If your ex is being completely unreasonable, show you are the better person and rise above it. Maintain your calm and resist the temptation to stoop to their level. If you are suffering threatening or abusive behaviour, your lawyer will be able to offer extra support and advice and point you at additional agencies who can help.

 

How do I navigate an amicable divorce?

 

Having the right legal support can make divorcing amicably much easier, helping to avoid unnecessary conflict. It also ensures that you fully understand your rights, what you are entitled to, and all of the ways divorce will impact your life. This will help you keep a lid on costs, leaving more to split with you and your ex and allowing both of you to start your new lives.

 

At KSJ Legal, our expert divorce lawyers can offer specialist legal advice to guide you through a quick and stress-free divorce process including executing a Mubarat divorce.

 

Reach out to us with questions about Mubarat.